I See Light!!!

Yes, the light at the end of the tunnel. The light that makes everything worth it. The light that shines on your darkness moments and the light that lets you know what you are doing is not in vain. So after my little experiment last night, I was feeling pretty good. Yeah, it may have taken 2.5 hours to finally get her to sleep but she did go to sleep and I never broke down and picked her up. So I decided to carry this into her naps as well. Her morning nap went as usual. She fell asleep and by the time I picked her up, she was fast asleep so she didn't wake up in the crib. No problem. If she's that asleep, she's that asleep. This afternoon was a different matter. Again, she cuddled with me on the couch and started to drift off. I picked her up and she fell asleep in my arms. I carried her into her room and as I was putting her in her crib, she woke up. I thought, great, now I can practise my "I'm going to soothe you but not pick you up to make you go to sleep." An hour an 10 minutes later she is finally asleep and I slowly walk out of her room. An hour and 10 minutes of hysterical crying, screaming, snot dripping, hair pulling and angry thrashing. But I kept my cool. After about 45 minutes I started to wonder if it was worth it. I knew if I picked her up, she's stop crying and fall asleep. But what would that prove? What was I going to do when I took her to the baby-sitter? Tell her that the only way she sleeps is if you carry her around and if she starts to cry pick her up right away. You can't pay any attention to any other kids that you are sitting cuz mine is trying to sleep and demands all your attention. Not likely. All these negative things were running through my mind but I knew I had to be more stubborn than she was. But I was breaking. I've noticed that for some reason - whether it is biological or instinctual, when she cries, especially for a long time, it bothers my stomach. It gets turned into knots and it makes me sick. After that episode, I thought I was going to throw up. What kept me going was the thought of being able to come downstairs, turn on my computer and write on my blog that I did it. That it took forever but I did it. So here it is...

I DID IT!!! IT TOOK FOREVER, BUT I DID IT!!!!!

Oh that feels so good. After she was asleep I came downstairs and talked with Mark. I was still feeling down wondering if it was worth it letting her scream like that for so long. He said I was totally doing the right thing and helped me see that it will only get better as she gets used to falling asleep on her own. Then he said I should go have a nap. I wasn't tired but he insisted so I went. Nearly two hours later, I woke up. Guess I was tired.

And tonight...Same thing. After her bath, we cuddled on the couch until she got sleepy. I picked her up and she slowly fell asleep. As I walked to her room, she woke up. I laid her down and patted her back. I tried to leave but she raised her head. I gently shushed her and she laid her head back down. I left the room and closed the door. She whimpered twice then turned her head. It took a grand total of 5 minutes. AWESOME!!!!

I've decided that for Abby's birthday, I am buying her professional pictures. There are a couple places in town that do it but I stumbled on a lady and her rates are really reasonable. Plus she just gives you the CD so you can print how ever many pictures you want in whatever sizes you want. It's funny, Mark came home with her business card. He said it was in his mailbox at work. I guess it pays to advertise.

Abby is still dancing to that commercial. Every time it comes on. I really hate that commercial. For one thing, I had to look up what BUCC meant. (I'm not the only one.) I found it on the Internet. Someone else wrote in saying they saw it on the commercial and didn't know what it meant. Apparently it's short for Buccaneer and in pirate as in dangerous and cool. Sounds pretty stupid to me. And secondly, I can't understand a word that guy is "rapping" about. It sounds like he's saying colonoscopy.