Now I Know

Ugg. That's how I feel this morning. Ugg. Abby started getting tired around 8:30 last night and since I have bumped up her routine I figured that she was just following her natural routine. So I got her to bed. For an hour. Then back to bed. For an hour and a half. Then back to bed for 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 2 minutes, then 30 seconds and over and over until 11:00. Then 11:30. Then 12:30 until 2:00. (From 1:00-2:00 she nursed. For the entire hour she chomped and scratched and kicked until my whole front was sore.) After a few bites, that was enough. I put her in her crib to cry it out. I am not a fan of crying it out. But at 2:00am, I don't care about the fancy theories. And since I was committed to not going in to get her, I felt okay about it. When I've tried it before, I would only let her cry for a maximum of 10 minutes. This time she could cry all night and I wasn't going to get up. Luckily it only lasted half an hour. But my stomach wasn't in knots and I was actually calm about the whole thing. So she cried herself to sleep and stayed asleep for another hour and woke up again...crying. I woke up but I was a bit confused. I was in a sleep fog and it didn't really register that she was crying. It felt like it was a recording and it wasn't really her. Most times I can hear crying and think she's crying when she's not. Last night I heard crying and didn't think it was her. Weird. So I stayed in bed not knowing what to do. Well, I fell asleep and I can only assume she did too. We woke up again at 7:00 and this time I did go and get her.

What I've learned...

Abby can cry it out. It's not ideal but it can work

Fancy theories have no place at 2:00am

I will still put Abby to sleep in my normal way (rocking and nursing if needed and setting her in her crib nearly asleep) but if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she gets to cry it out.

I am not a bad mom for letting her cry.

I am not a bad mom for putting her in her crib when I need a break

I am not a bad mom for not feeling bad when she is screaming her head off

I can change my mind on how to deal with her and it's okay

Coffee is the greatest thing on the planet