WARNING: The following is a rant fuelled by little sleep.
I was given a copy of "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" written by La Leche League by the Breast-feeding consultant while I was still in the hospital. The one nurse told me that this is such a great book and it's full of great tips. It's a big book. Thick. Anyway. I'm excited to read it since I am breastfeeding after all. Someone should have warned me. If you're going to read this book, read it while you are still pregnant or after you've had at least a week straight of full nights sleep. I almost threw the book across the room. It is such a romanticized version of labour and delivery. Everyone is calm, everyone is full of love and it's such a magical moment. Now that may have been true for some, but not me. According to this book, I did everything wrong when I had my baby. They describe birthing as follows:
1) You've attended all the Pre-Natal Classes ever offered and read every book published. You've joined La Leche League before conception.
2) You've hired a doula (actually, I don't disagree with this point) because your husband and the maternity nurses couldn't possibly give the support you need.
3) Of course you've decided on your midwife (not a bad idea) who shares the same values as you and your partner. A doctor is out of the question since all they want to do is pump you full of drugs, cut you open and get the baby out in time for their golf game. (I am pro-midwife, I just hate how they portray doctors in this book)
4) You've taken a tour of the Birthing Centre (a nice idea) you will be delivering in because there is no way you'd subject yourself to a hospital birth - see above
5) Now the big moment has arrive. You've gone into labour naturally shunning any sort of induction knowing in your soul and already being able to communicate with your child whether or not she is ready.
6) The contractions crest and fall but you are able to bear the pain by lighting candles, turning the lights lower and gazing into the eyes of your labour coach. The doula and midwife all give suggestions and have you move around the Birthing Room changing positions to better facilitate the process. Never once do you lay of your back to birth. That position was thought up by doctors who have no concern about the natural way of child birth and are ultimately lazy and selfish.
7) Without the aid of any evil medication, are able to birth your child into the world. The baby gives a lusty cry as she is placed at your breast. Immediately, she begins to nurse and a flood of love love encompasses you both. The father puts his arm around you and everyone is the room is engulfed in love and peace (this is where I throw up).
8) No pacifier were used in the process of this birth. In fact they were all buried not to be dug up for 6 weeks for fear that they would ruin breastfeeding and the mother-child bond forever.
9) No formula was used either because everyone knows that it is the root of all evil.
I'm not sure what exactly is my point but it made me sick how this was the "right" way to have a baby and since they never once mention that it's okay to deviate slightly with this plan. They even said at one point that no matter how big the baby is, you can deliver it naturally if only you can find a midwife who is more patient than a doctor. ARRR.
My doctor was great. He wasn't concerned about speeding things up for his own comfort, he was concerned about me and the baby. As for the nurses, they were great. I don't know where the women in the book gave birth, but I got to spend as much time with my baby as I wanted and when the nurses saw that I needed sleep, they took care of her. As for not being placed on my chest within the crucial first 20 minutes of life...she'll be fine. Not only was she taken away, she was given formula before I saw her again. According to the book, I should have had no hope ever breastfeeding her or establishing a bond therefore destroying her self esteem and having her rest me for the rest of her life culminating to her dropping out of school at 15, joining a gang and ended up in jail before she hits her twenties. Yikes. Instead, she latched on and continued to breastfeed with ease. In fact, we even gave her a pacifier.
So if I did everything wrong, then how did I end up with such a perfect baby?
Let me repeat, if you're going to read this book, read it while you are still pregnant or after you've had at least a week straight of full nights sleep. Unless you actually had the perfect delivery, then read on. If not, skip a few chapters until they actually tell you something informative. But you have been warned.
1) You've attended all the Pre-Natal Classes ever offered and read every book published. You've joined La Leche League before conception.
2) You've hired a doula (actually, I don't disagree with this point) because your husband and the maternity nurses couldn't possibly give the support you need.
3) Of course you've decided on your midwife (not a bad idea) who shares the same values as you and your partner. A doctor is out of the question since all they want to do is pump you full of drugs, cut you open and get the baby out in time for their golf game. (I am pro-midwife, I just hate how they portray doctors in this book)
4) You've taken a tour of the Birthing Centre (a nice idea) you will be delivering in because there is no way you'd subject yourself to a hospital birth - see above
5) Now the big moment has arrive. You've gone into labour naturally shunning any sort of induction knowing in your soul and already being able to communicate with your child whether or not she is ready.
6) The contractions crest and fall but you are able to bear the pain by lighting candles, turning the lights lower and gazing into the eyes of your labour coach. The doula and midwife all give suggestions and have you move around the Birthing Room changing positions to better facilitate the process. Never once do you lay of your back to birth. That position was thought up by doctors who have no concern about the natural way of child birth and are ultimately lazy and selfish.
7) Without the aid of any evil medication, are able to birth your child into the world. The baby gives a lusty cry as she is placed at your breast. Immediately, she begins to nurse and a flood of love love encompasses you both. The father puts his arm around you and everyone is the room is engulfed in love and peace (this is where I throw up).
8) No pacifier were used in the process of this birth. In fact they were all buried not to be dug up for 6 weeks for fear that they would ruin breastfeeding and the mother-child bond forever.
9) No formula was used either because everyone knows that it is the root of all evil.
I'm not sure what exactly is my point but it made me sick how this was the "right" way to have a baby and since they never once mention that it's okay to deviate slightly with this plan. They even said at one point that no matter how big the baby is, you can deliver it naturally if only you can find a midwife who is more patient than a doctor. ARRR.
My doctor was great. He wasn't concerned about speeding things up for his own comfort, he was concerned about me and the baby. As for the nurses, they were great. I don't know where the women in the book gave birth, but I got to spend as much time with my baby as I wanted and when the nurses saw that I needed sleep, they took care of her. As for not being placed on my chest within the crucial first 20 minutes of life...she'll be fine. Not only was she taken away, she was given formula before I saw her again. According to the book, I should have had no hope ever breastfeeding her or establishing a bond therefore destroying her self esteem and having her rest me for the rest of her life culminating to her dropping out of school at 15, joining a gang and ended up in jail before she hits her twenties. Yikes. Instead, she latched on and continued to breastfeed with ease. In fact, we even gave her a pacifier.
So if I did everything wrong, then how did I end up with such a perfect baby?
Let me repeat, if you're going to read this book, read it while you are still pregnant or after you've had at least a week straight of full nights sleep. Unless you actually had the perfect delivery, then read on. If not, skip a few chapters until they actually tell you something informative. But you have been warned.
Comments
Those types of books can be hard to read! While their info is usually good intentioned and their points usually correct, they often forget that not everything goes perfectly or as planned.
I can personally attest to many of your points actually being 100% true for some women, for some babies. And then I've seen women who have given formula and soothers go on to have a healthy breastfeeding relationship.
It all depends on where your priorities are, what is important to you, what you feel is best for your baby based on their cues, etc. But in the end, it seems like we all turn out just fine, our babies turn out just fine.
Take every book with a grain of salt, that's for sure. ;)