Here We Go!

Abby is going to get her immunizations this afternoon. Wish us luck. I'm not worried about how she'll take the needle. I'm sure she'll cry, but I'm more worried about how she will react later. Will she get a fever? Will she get sick? Will she sleep tonight? Will I? We had a bad night last night so I hope it won't be too bad. So in the meantime, here are some images of a happy baby to remind myself that she is still really cute even if tonight is a tough night.

Part II

I Am Not A Rock.

The video took so long to load that I left it and went to the appointment. I'm back now with the update.

I like to think of myself as a practical person. Most people are either an optimist or a pessimist, a cynic or a idealist. I consider myself an realistic optimist. This means that I realize that things don't always go the way you want them to...but they might. I know I've written before about how I don't feel like I've changed now that I have a child, but I am beginning to think that I have. My boss kept telling me how protective I would get once I became a mother. How I wouldn't let anyone hold her and I would develop the "Mother Bear" instinct. I smiled politely and thought about how that would play out in my situation. I knew I would be the type who let her baby be passed around at family gatherings. At the baby shower, she was passed around and I never saw her the entire time. And I was fine with that. At the women's brunch, I found my Mother Bear kicking in. I was not prepared for my reaction. In a split second I decided who can and cannot hold my child. Most of the women who held her, I had no problem with. But there was one, who I am sure is a wonderful person and a lovely lady, but I would never let her hold Abby. As soon as I saw her and she squealed that she loves babies I knew that she would not get near her. I don't know why I felt this way and why I felt so strongly about it.

Today I was surprised by my reaction again. I knew that Abby was getting her needles today. I was prepared that she was not going to like it. I knew that she would cry and by very upset. I knew that I would have to comfort her. People told me that it is always more traumatic for the mother than the child. Again, I smiled politely and wondered how I would react. I figured I'd be fine with it. I knew what was coming. What I didn't know was how it would affect me. When the nurse jabbed her little thigh and Abby started screaming, my heart broke in two and I nearly started crying myself. I was not prepared for the sound of her cry. This was not a normal cry. This was a horrible, urgent heart-piercing cry. Even thinking about it now makes me emotional. But she's fine now. She got some Tylenol and had a really big nap this evening. Right now she is sleeping again. I think the nap in the evening really helped. When Mark got home from curling, she had been awake for half and hour and they played together and had lots of fun. It looks like she's having no side effects. The needle poke isn't swollen or red, I can't even see where it was on the one leg. So we're good for another 8 weeks. Then I'll have another traumatic event to tell you all about.

So it turns out that having a baby did change me.