Shows What I Know

I thought it was going to warm up. Ha. This morning it was -35 outside! Yikes. I braved the cold anyway to get some groceries and then off to the Mom's Bible Study. It was a small group and I liked it, more intimate that way. Abby was the only child there.


I was invited to go to a La Leche League meeting tomorrow. The group does more than just breastfeeding, there's a lot of child care tips and parenting info. It sounds really good and I almost caved but I think that I can't go. It's just that I have finally gotten the strength to believe in what I am doing is right and I'm scared if I go, I'm going to be bombarded by different styles that I'll get overwhelmed and start to doubt myself. The last thing I need to do is start second guessing myself. I can admit that I don't know everything and I am open to new ideas. My problem is that I know their style and I am just not that comfortable with it and I'll start to doubt myself and send me spiralling back. I want to wean Abby when she hits 6 months and I know what they're going to say, "Just stick with it." I want her to be on the bottle when I go back to work (But you can pump at work). I don't want to, and actually, I don't think I could pump at work. I don't care if you want to breastfeed your child until they are 4 years old, actually that's admirable, but I don't. I'm just not strong enough to stand up to an entire group. I'm torn because I wouldn't mind going to a group like that and I do believe that breastfeeding is best, it's just they are almost too strong. I think they do a great service but the last thing I need to to doubt myself. I am feeling so comfortable about what my baby needs and how to provide that for her. I feel that I've come so far from where I was and I can't go back to that nervous, second-guessing, timid wannabe mother. Besides, I have lots to do and I'm not looking forward to bundling up Abby again and trudging through the cold.


My Happy Baby

Sometimes after I change Abby's diaper, I set her down on the super soft Sherpa's Blanket. She wiggles around and giggles and has lots of fun. Here's some pictures...


Comments

Amy said…
It's li'l ol' me again. I say good for you! I know what you're saying about not wanting to back track to a place you worked hard to grow out of; and nobody knows your baby better than you. I totally know what you mean by saying groups like that are a good thing, promote good ideas and the like but also the conflict of heart over wanting to do something that seems to contradict the credos of those groups... You just can't (shouldn't) cave into the group/peer pressure, especially when you consider that MANY different purpose groups who all have good ideas can still differ from one another THEMSELVES, never mind send our impressionable female minds on a tail spin!

What am I trying to say? Well. Just that. You're damned right. ;)

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