Do I Miss Breastfeeding?
This morning Abby woke up at 5:45. I brought her into bed with me. She rolled over to me and pawed at my shirt. I knew what she wanted. And I knew that I couldn't give it to her. Do I miss breastfeeding? I miss the connected feeling I had with Abby when she nursed. I miss the look on her face. I really miss the diapers*. I miss being able to satiate her hunger at any time. I miss cradling her in my arms. However, I do not miss feeding her every two hours. I do not miss being so careful about what I eat as to not upset her and feeling like it is my fault every time she's gassy or generally upset. She had to be weaned eventually anyway. I guess I just hoped that she'd take a bottle so I could still cradle her and watch her eat. At least I still rock her to sleep. Yes, I rock her to sleep. I don't put her in the crib slightly sleepy so she can fall asleep on her own. I can't give up her sleeping on my shoulder. That I will not give up so quickly.
*Wow, what can I say. Even her pee makes my eyes water. But her poos...last night, I was getting her ready for her bath. I set her on her change table and took off her diaper. There was a bit of poo, nothing serious. I had her all cleaned up, when she decided she wasn't done. (I was, the diaper was put away) She starts getting mad and the poop comes. and doesn't stop. I grabbed a diaper liner to catch it all. She's screaming her lungs off and more poop comes**. Now she's on the really stinky stuff that is not as easy to catch. I grab another liner. She screams again and poop flies everywhere. I jump back and fling poo in her hair. I have one poopy liner laying on the table, another poopy liner in my hand and I now have to deal with poop in her hair and on my hands. Plus, the poopy liners are dangerously close to her feet. Sure enough, One foot goes down on the one liner. Well, at least with all the commotion, the smell is the last thing on my mind. I'm too busy dealing with poo, it ceases to be gross. So I grab a wipe and clean off her face and foot. I grab the poopy liners and throw them in the diaper pail. By this time, she's done. I finish wiping her off and she smiles at me. By the time I get her in the bath, she's forgotten everything that just happened. And so have I.
**ever watch a kid play with a play-doh set? The kind that you put the play-doh in the one end, push down the lever and different shapes come out like spaghetti and long noodles...it was like that.
*Wow, what can I say. Even her pee makes my eyes water. But her poos...last night, I was getting her ready for her bath. I set her on her change table and took off her diaper. There was a bit of poo, nothing serious. I had her all cleaned up, when she decided she wasn't done. (I was, the diaper was put away) She starts getting mad and the poop comes. and doesn't stop. I grabbed a diaper liner to catch it all. She's screaming her lungs off and more poop comes**. Now she's on the really stinky stuff that is not as easy to catch. I grab another liner. She screams again and poop flies everywhere. I jump back and fling poo in her hair. I have one poopy liner laying on the table, another poopy liner in my hand and I now have to deal with poop in her hair and on my hands. Plus, the poopy liners are dangerously close to her feet. Sure enough, One foot goes down on the one liner. Well, at least with all the commotion, the smell is the last thing on my mind. I'm too busy dealing with poo, it ceases to be gross. So I grab a wipe and clean off her face and foot. I grab the poopy liners and throw them in the diaper pail. By this time, she's done. I finish wiping her off and she smiles at me. By the time I get her in the bath, she's forgotten everything that just happened. And so have I.
**ever watch a kid play with a play-doh set? The kind that you put the play-doh in the one end, push down the lever and different shapes come out like spaghetti and long noodles...it was like that.
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