A River in Egypt
I have a way of coping with problems. It may not be the healthiest but hear me out...
When I was little, I used to worry about everything. I finally got over by realizing that there is really not that much I can do about most of the stuff I was worrying about. As for the rest, I usually worried about it all as I was trying to fall asleep so there was no use in thinking about it. So I would distract my mind with other thoughts so I could fall asleep. It kind of turned into a pattern of distraction and avoidance which for the most part - like when things don’t actually matter and I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to. But then there are the moments when denial only goes so far and I’m forced to face reality.
My daughter turns 8 years old in three weeks. She requested a party at the bowling alley with all of her friends. It was to have a LOL Doll theme. And now she won’t be able to have it. I know it could be worse and this is a very first world problem but she’s my daughter and I want to be able to give her everything she wants. And I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I was hoping that this would all blow over but now it’s pretty clear that it won’t. So after I wipe my eyes I will plan her cake (Oreo cheesecake) and get her present and do my darnedest to make her 8th birthday a great one.
My mom has been a nurse for over 40 years. She’s the best. I’m not just saying that because she’s my mom. She really is an amazing nurse. Ask anyone who has ever worked with her. Her experience, her dedication and her knowledge is second to none. And the thought of her working during this whole pandemic frights the crap out of me. Especially since my dad is immune-comprised. So I didn’t think about it. People post things about nurses being heroes and I just scroll through. People would post pictures of nurses decked out in protective gear and I applaud their efforts and never make the connection that that could easily be my mother working in that type of environment. Then a few days ago, I found out that after years of asking and wondering, she has finally announced her retirement. It was at that moment when I fully realized how much danger she and and my dad could have been in. I didn’t think about it because I really didn’t want to.
I don’t know what the next week holds. My husband has received little to no guidance about his role next week. I have been working from home. I don’t know how long we can do this. My bosses are amazing but they have bills to pay too. I don’t know what will happen and I don’t know how long it can last. And I don’t know whether dwelling on it or watching another Try Not to Laugh show on YouTube is the right thing to do. But right now I have two kids to put to bed, read them a story and kiss them and tell them that everything is going to be just fine.
When I was little, I used to worry about everything. I finally got over by realizing that there is really not that much I can do about most of the stuff I was worrying about. As for the rest, I usually worried about it all as I was trying to fall asleep so there was no use in thinking about it. So I would distract my mind with other thoughts so I could fall asleep. It kind of turned into a pattern of distraction and avoidance which for the most part - like when things don’t actually matter and I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to. But then there are the moments when denial only goes so far and I’m forced to face reality.
(My baby when she turned 2)
My daughter turns 8 years old in three weeks. She requested a party at the bowling alley with all of her friends. It was to have a LOL Doll theme. And now she won’t be able to have it. I know it could be worse and this is a very first world problem but she’s my daughter and I want to be able to give her everything she wants. And I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I was hoping that this would all blow over but now it’s pretty clear that it won’t. So after I wipe my eyes I will plan her cake (Oreo cheesecake) and get her present and do my darnedest to make her 8th birthday a great one.
My mom has been a nurse for over 40 years. She’s the best. I’m not just saying that because she’s my mom. She really is an amazing nurse. Ask anyone who has ever worked with her. Her experience, her dedication and her knowledge is second to none. And the thought of her working during this whole pandemic frights the crap out of me. Especially since my dad is immune-comprised. So I didn’t think about it. People post things about nurses being heroes and I just scroll through. People would post pictures of nurses decked out in protective gear and I applaud their efforts and never make the connection that that could easily be my mother working in that type of environment. Then a few days ago, I found out that after years of asking and wondering, she has finally announced her retirement. It was at that moment when I fully realized how much danger she and and my dad could have been in. I didn’t think about it because I really didn’t want to.
I don’t know what the next week holds. My husband has received little to no guidance about his role next week. I have been working from home. I don’t know how long we can do this. My bosses are amazing but they have bills to pay too. I don’t know what will happen and I don’t know how long it can last. And I don’t know whether dwelling on it or watching another Try Not to Laugh show on YouTube is the right thing to do. But right now I have two kids to put to bed, read them a story and kiss them and tell them that everything is going to be just fine.
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